Two days later and no real news
Two days, no new news. So what has been going on? Oh, the usual. Alternating bouts of feeling semi-normal and then sinking into despair.
Last night, helped Amy grade papers and worked on a jigsaw puzzle. Haven't worked on a jigsaw puzzle in ages. I stuck with our family rules from growing up -- no looking at the box, start with the edges. It was great. I made such progress! Got the sky filled in, a bunch of other stuff too -- there's a real feeling of satisfaction putting a piece in and having it fit. Unfortunately this is not a metaphor for our current lives. But now I see why jigsaw puzzles might be popular in mental institutions. Feels so good to put something together.
We busied ourselves yesterday getting some clothes for Shaw. His height makes it difficult to purchase clothes from thrift stores, so we went the retail route. Still, it's hard to buy a pair of shoes that he has an identical version of at home. If they are still there and not covered in mold.
I have had nightmarish visions of National Guard troops breaking into our house to ascertain if anyone is there. I have heard that they are doing this, but am not sure if it's really happening or not. Do they re-secure the door when they are finished breaking it down?
Was our house already broken into anyway? Friends not far from us had their house looted. All of the reports of looting only happening to businesses do not seem to be matching the personal accounts that I have heard. What is speculation, what is truth? Don't know. I know that by now I should have mentally let go of all of our possesions; yes, it's only stuff, yada yada, so many people have lost everything, lost family members -- so why do I care about the status of the Elvis shrine?
Because it's not an act of nature that would be messing up our stuff now. Because, no matter how lucky we are, no matter how fortunate, it still feels horrible and violating to think of strangers pawing through our things. Even to think of soldiers walking through our house. I cannot fathom how difficult it must be for people around the world who have had to deal with this sort of thing over and over.
So, again the guilt for even feeling this when others are going through so much worse. And the frustration of not being able to do anything about our home or town right now. I read informal reports that Uptown will have electricity soon. Water is already on, but not yet drinkable. Gas is on, I think. Maybe we will be able to go back soon.
In the meantime, we struggle with our forced inertia. We still don't have enough information to really know what our next steps are. We hope to be able to figure out something concrete soon. I know that we need to be patient. We will try.
P.S. For those of you interested in a pet update, Buster has twice spent the night out and come home relatively easily at 6 am in the morning, before our host family lets the dogs out. Bibi has less interest in hanging out outside. Izzy, the little dog wags her tail and just wants to play with the cats. They are not interested. Ginger, the bigger dog, still looks a little too focused when she sees the cats. Buster is brave and sits on the stairs and watches the proceedings in the evenings, but he stays on his side of the baby gate. One night he jumped down into the living room, unaware that the dogs were resting by the couches. We didn't see the interaction, but there was a lot of barking and an immediate retreat by Buster. Overall, things are fine on the pet front. The cats are sweet and they are a comfort to us.
Last night, helped Amy grade papers and worked on a jigsaw puzzle. Haven't worked on a jigsaw puzzle in ages. I stuck with our family rules from growing up -- no looking at the box, start with the edges. It was great. I made such progress! Got the sky filled in, a bunch of other stuff too -- there's a real feeling of satisfaction putting a piece in and having it fit. Unfortunately this is not a metaphor for our current lives. But now I see why jigsaw puzzles might be popular in mental institutions. Feels so good to put something together.
We busied ourselves yesterday getting some clothes for Shaw. His height makes it difficult to purchase clothes from thrift stores, so we went the retail route. Still, it's hard to buy a pair of shoes that he has an identical version of at home. If they are still there and not covered in mold.
I have had nightmarish visions of National Guard troops breaking into our house to ascertain if anyone is there. I have heard that they are doing this, but am not sure if it's really happening or not. Do they re-secure the door when they are finished breaking it down?
Was our house already broken into anyway? Friends not far from us had their house looted. All of the reports of looting only happening to businesses do not seem to be matching the personal accounts that I have heard. What is speculation, what is truth? Don't know. I know that by now I should have mentally let go of all of our possesions; yes, it's only stuff, yada yada, so many people have lost everything, lost family members -- so why do I care about the status of the Elvis shrine?
Because it's not an act of nature that would be messing up our stuff now. Because, no matter how lucky we are, no matter how fortunate, it still feels horrible and violating to think of strangers pawing through our things. Even to think of soldiers walking through our house. I cannot fathom how difficult it must be for people around the world who have had to deal with this sort of thing over and over.
So, again the guilt for even feeling this when others are going through so much worse. And the frustration of not being able to do anything about our home or town right now. I read informal reports that Uptown will have electricity soon. Water is already on, but not yet drinkable. Gas is on, I think. Maybe we will be able to go back soon.
In the meantime, we struggle with our forced inertia. We still don't have enough information to really know what our next steps are. We hope to be able to figure out something concrete soon. I know that we need to be patient. We will try.
P.S. For those of you interested in a pet update, Buster has twice spent the night out and come home relatively easily at 6 am in the morning, before our host family lets the dogs out. Bibi has less interest in hanging out outside. Izzy, the little dog wags her tail and just wants to play with the cats. They are not interested. Ginger, the bigger dog, still looks a little too focused when she sees the cats. Buster is brave and sits on the stairs and watches the proceedings in the evenings, but he stays on his side of the baby gate. One night he jumped down into the living room, unaware that the dogs were resting by the couches. We didn't see the interaction, but there was a lot of barking and an immediate retreat by Buster. Overall, things are fine on the pet front. The cats are sweet and they are a comfort to us.
posted by carla at 12:45 PM
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